9. BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

8. CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete Monthly

7. COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

6. IBM -I Blame Microsoft

5. MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

4. OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too

3. PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math

2. WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System

1. WWW - World Wide Wait!