I´m really not sure how I´d respond to this -- aside from screaming my head off, that is. Perhaps I´d say exactly what I say to her today, as a two-year-old: "Lekha, why did you have to write on yourself? Didn´t Daddy give you enough paper?"

Even if I´m one of those "cool dads," I will still do some screaming: "Lekha, why didn´t you tell your mom and I that you were getting tattoos? We could have gone together and gotten a family discount." (My tattoos would be very practical: A tattoo of a six-pack on my stomach, a tattoo of a rug on my bald spot.)

These days, tattoos are everywhere, not just on construction workers, bikers and gangsters. How common are they? Well, just the other day, while grocery shopping, I counted 15 different tattoos -- and I would have counted more if the young lady hadn´t slapped me. (She was apparently afraid I was going to follow her back to the convent.)

For many young people, the question isn´t whether to get a tattoo, but how many. Some are conservative: They get a single tattoo and place it in a spot that´s easily hidden, such as the navel or foot. Others are never satisfied: You feel like rushing them to the hospital, because they look like they had an accident at the chemical factory. (Pity the nurse who tries to find one of their veins.)

Celebrities such as Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears and Eminem have helped make tattoos fashionable. Even British soccer star David Beckham has been eager to display his body art. At last count, he had nine tattoos, but stay tuned, that could change at any moment. If you think his tattoos have nothing to do with soccer, you should see the sign in one opponent´s locker room: "Keep your eye on the ball, not on Beckham´s tattoos."

Beckham has tattoos of his two sons´ names in English, but was smart enough to engrave his wife Victoria´s name in Hindi. That way, if he ever breaks up with her, only one-tenth of the world´s population will snicker.

Other sports stars with tattoos include golfer Annika Sorenstam, who has a Halloween cat on her lower back, and runner Maurice Green, who has a lion on his arm with the word "goat" in its mane. "Goat," according to Green, stands for "greatest of all time," which means, of course, that he has paid a licensing fee to Carl Lewis.

While tattoos may help you honor your loved ones and boost your ego, they can offer several other benefits:

---Tattoos can save you money at a wedding. Instead of buying an expensive ring, you can tattoo your bride´s name on your behind.

---Tattoos can help you remember important information, such as wedding anniversaries, birthdays, and even, for those bar-hopping nights, your home address.

---Tattoos can help you identify with a particular group. If you´re a peace activist, you can get a tattoo of a dove. If you´re a neo-Nazi white supremacist, you can get a tattoo of a jackass.

---Tattoos can be extremely beautiful and artistic, especially when they´re on the body of someone else´s daughter.