"Woh dekho, kitni naughty ho gayi hai.(Look! how naughty she has become. She has to get her own way , all the time. If she doesn´t , then she throws a tantrum." These are the typical concerns of parents , when the child throws a tantrum , in front of other people and parents don´t know what to say.

Being a parent myself I know exactly how most parents feel. My research on this leads me to the following conclusions:

Actually TEMPER TANTRUMS have nothing to do with naughtiness at all,and they have very little to do with temper in the usual derogatory sense. A genuine tantrum is a sort of emotional blown fuse caused by an overload of frustration. It is not within the child´s control at all and, while probably infuriating and embarrassing for you, it will usually be downright terrifying for her or him.

Behind every tantrum there is frustration , of the child´s inability to accomplish the task that he or she has been trying to do unsuccessfully.

Every infant is born with an in-built drive to learn, to practice and to succeed in every tiny task which contributes to her growing up. When he or she is at school child, you and her teachers may have to push and coax her into learning her verbs, doing her homework, but in infancy nobody has to push her to learn to walk. As soon as she is psychologically ready, she will start trying and she will go on and on trying, no matter how frustrating it is , how many times she falls and hurts herself, until she succeeds.

Every child is different.Every child´s needs are different. Every child´s frustration tolerance level varies, both from day to day and from stage to stage.

When you are coping several times a day with a tantruming child you may wish for a more placid one, but it helps to remember that the frustrated screaming child is only frustrated because she is trying and that, because she is trying, she will learn.