by: Vandana Agrawal (INDOlink)
"Mummy when will he start playing with me."
"Oh!Mummy he is soooo cutie cutie cute."
"OOOOh! Mummy I am so happy I have a baby brother."
"look at his tinie tiny feet."
"look he is smiling."
"Can I give him a bath?"
"Can I feed him his cereal?"
"I want to show him off to all my friends."
These were the endless statements and questions my dear little Shveta used to
ask me about her baby brother, Shauray.
That was three years ago when Shauray was born.
NOW it goes something like this:-
"Mummy! Can we leave Shauray somewhere?"
"Mummy why canīt he leave me alone??"
"He wants to do whatever I am doing .He is ALWAYS copying me."
"SHAAUURRRAAAY!! DONīT TOUCH my homework !!!!!!."
"I want Shauray OUT of MY house!!!".
"He wonīt let me play my Mario game (Nintendo 64)_ _.."
"Whenever my friends come he is ALWAYS ALWAYS taking away my toys."
"He ALWAYS makes me angry ( with teeth GRINDING )."
As parents we are always on the edge .We sometimes ( actually all the time ) wonder
could this be the result of us parents doing something wrong.
May be we didnīt handle them properly.
May be the older one needs a little more assurance ,
a little more quality time ,
a little time away from her sibling ...
May be if I spent more time with her...
(....But I already do all these things and still it doesnīt work ....Why?)
SIBLING RIVALRY--..That explains it !!!
While speaking of this , one other incident comes to mind ( mind you , I could go on endlessly------. ).
Shveta is doing her homework , Shauray comes along and demands his own homework.
I give him some coloring crayons and LO BEHOLD our dear Shveta is distracted .
" Mummy ! Shauray is disturbing me. "
I look at him , sitting at the far end of the room , doing his coloring , quietly singing
"Shveta he is doing his own work , you can do yours."
Shauray heard me and found another excuse to torture his poor sister.
His singing gets louder and louder.
She starts complaining.
Finally , I convince them both to say sorry to each other and continue with their work.
Shveta says sorry first ( rather grumpily !! ).
I tell Shauray to apologize and to say "Its o.k. didi".
He says "No sorry to you didi, ITīS NOT OKAY "
There it goes again.
The fight starts again.
I throw my hands up in the air and quietly move away , to do my work .
I can hear their arguments in the background.
After half an hour Shauray comes and says:
" Mummy didi ko itīs okay bol diya.(I said sorry to didi)" " Happy mummy? Happy? "
I think this is now . What next ?
Whoever said Parenting was easy must have had very good children.( My parents for instance--)
(I can almost hear my dear old sis saying in the background "Ya right, donīt you take
the credit for being the nice, prim and proper sibling, remember your tortured didi(big sister)...
my sympathies are always with Shveta!!!)