The customs official stared at the long line forming behind the pretty, young woman. Rather than do his job quickly, he decided to chat it up with the lady.

"So, why are you in India?" he asked, leaning against her suitcase. The official’s senior officer came by to make the line move faster, and Meena was unable to answer. It didn’t matter to the official; he didn’t want to hear an answer, he just wanted the company of a cute Indo-American. But for Meena, of all the questions she had been asked over the last few years, she actually had an answer to this one.

Meena exited to the parking lot. All around her people were being welcomed into the arms of relatives and friends. Meena walked over to a taxi. She knew there would be no one waiting for her there. Her parents had insisted that she should not tell anyone about going to India. The purpose of her visit would be the cause of great debate and distress amongst the elders; better she tell them after everything was finalized.

From the taxi driver to the girl at the front desk, everyone seemed to be surprised that she was by herself. Meena noticed this. Here she was in India to start her family, and none of the old family was there with her.

"I’m not going to think about that. I have to sleep. I can’t be tired tomorrow." Useless words; her thoughts were churning in her head uncontrollably. But Meena was determined to sleep, and gradually her will reached compromise with her mind. She began to dream.

It was that day, so long ago. Her father just brought her a baby doll. Just like Donna’s. But unlike Donna’s doll, Meena never colored on her doll or cut her hair. In fact, her interest in the doll never diminished like it did with her other toys. Now her parents were laughing. Meena had brought her "baby" to the dinner table and was trying to feed the doll on her lap. Her father was saying, " Well Meena-rani, now that you have shown us that you are a good mother, perhaps we should find a father for your baby?" Not to be outdone, Meena’s older sister cried, " No Appa! Find a husband for me first! I’m older."

The sound of laughter rang in her ears, but the scene was changing. She was in a hospital now. Walking next to her mother, they were talking excitedly, their arms loaded with flowers and gifts. They walked through an open door and into a room full of smiling people. And in the center of the commotion was Donna. Meena ran to her friend’s side and looked at the baby she was cradling.

"Oh Meena, I thought you couldn’t come! What about your graduation?"

"It’s just a ceremony, but this," Meena said picking up the baby gently, " is a miracle."

The room was filled with Donna’s family, her in-laws, their friends. When they heard Meena say this, they were very touched.

Meena’s mother proudly said, " Meena has always had a soft spot for children….

Her mother’s voice, "Now Meena, this boy is very successful. His parents are well respected, and very kind. I think all their children are doctors…"

Meena was standing in front of her mirror, preparing for a blind date arranged by her mother.

"Just a minute Ma, I have a call on the other line…..Hello?"

"Meen-Meen? It’s Devi, are you busy?"

"Ma is on the other line, but go ahead."

" I’ll be quick. Do you think you could watch the kids for me tonight? I have to fly into New York for a couple of hours to oversee a project, and Murthy is going with me. I would have asked Ma or Anand, but Sundha wanted me to ask you first."

"Of course I would love to watch Sundha and Kumar. Do you want me to come and pick them up?"

"No, no. Your place is on the way to the airport. I’ll give you the specifics when I get there. Can we come in an hour?"

"Anytime."

"Thanks sis, see you in an hour."

Meena took a deep breath, and now for the storm.

"Ma? I’m going to have to cancel that date."

"What! Meena, please don’t…"

"Ma, Devi-ka is going out of town, someone has to watch the kids."

"Appa and I can watch them. Do you know how much this will embarrass me? You canceling at the last minute will look very bad, especially when you don’t have to."

"Ma, I’m not trying to embarrass you. You know I love spending time with the kids."

" You can spend time with them later. You’ll never have a family of your own if you don’t take the opportunities when you get the chances. And this boy is very good looking, and well mannered…"

"Ma I have to call him and tell him I can’t make it."

"You didn’t tell Devi about your date did you? She wouldn’t have asked you if she knew. She has been trying as hard as I have to set you up with nice young men. Why didn’t you tell her?"

"It’s just not important to me Ma."

"The what, for Heavens’ sake, is?"

That question haunted her. She was still puzzled over it when Devi arrived. But once she saw the children, she forgot all about it.

The children were tugging on her…

"Meen-meen, don’t just stand out there," Anand said pulling her into his apartment.

"I need major help getting ready. Thanks for coming early."

"No problem, anything to see your apartment clean for a few fleeting seconds."

"Hush your mouth little sis’. Make yourself useful. Can you put the glasses out?"

"Sure, where are they?"

"Under the wet bar. So," Anand said a he walked into the kitchen, " Ma says you got a promotion."

"Yeah, but it was kind of long overdue."

"How long have you been with that magazine now, four, five years?"

"Six, ever since college."

"That’s right," Anand said, bringing a tray of h’ordeurves toward her, " so would you say you are professionally settled?"

"I suppose I am." Why was he asking her this?

"And personally?"

Meena looked at her brother, and he looked right back at her. Where is he going with this? Does he know, she thought to herself, how I’ve been feeling lately? It was an overpowering emotion that made her feel somehow unwhole, like something was missing. The promotion, her new apartment, her friends, and certainly none of the men her parents were trying to set her up with had made it go away.

Anand realized he hit nerve, but he misunderstood his sister, " Don’t worry Meen-meen. I have invited a whole slew of eligible, young men tonight and…"

Ahhh, now it all made sense. The questions, the questions…

"I’m asking you a question Meena."

"Hmmm?" Meena was now sitting in a restaurant with her father.

"Meena Rani, your mother and I are concerned about you."

"Of course Appa."

"But you seem distracted, maybe a little apathetic, about the future."

"No Appa, I’m not apathetic. I already set up my retirement fund and I have a lot of plans for my role at the magazine…"

"Meena, that’s not what I mean. Every day you go to work, and then you return to your empty apartment. You are alone. And you don’t seem to be actively trying to change your situation."

"Appa, I know Ma is upset that I haven’t taken to any of the guys she’s set me up with."

"It’s not even that anymore Meena. If I had raised you and your brother and sister in India, I could have arranged your marriage by now. But we live in the US so I have trusted my children in their choices. Devi met Murthy at the temple. Anand is engaged to Shilpa. But you, nothing. We have been able to accept Anand’s girl, even though she speaks a different language and knows nothing of our Indian customs. She tries. For you, we are willing to accept anyone, Caucasion, Asian, whatever. We don’t want to see you go through life single."

"Appa, I’m looking, really I am."

"What do you want Meena, what are you looking for?"

"I don’t know, I don’t know." Her head hurt as did her father’s heart, and he relented. Meena stared into her lap as the tears fell. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was she wanted, but she could feel that it was out there.

"You want a baby?" Donna was incredulous.

"Donna, whenever I think of what I want for my future, the first thing I think of is a house full of kids."

"But Meena, there’s a step that comes before the house and the kids," Donna looked meaningfully at her friend, " and that’s a husband."

"I haven’t met anyone I feel like committing to."

"But you want to commit to a child."

"I don’t always have to go in order do I? And I want to…"

"…fill out an application to adopt a child?" The counselor behind the desk handed her a thick folder. "Miss Reddy, adopting a baby from India is a long, grueling process, sometimes taking five to seven years. It involves interviews, background checks, and of course we will have to meet with your immediate family and close friends…."

"What are people going to say about our family, Meena? How will we explain an unmarried daughter with a child? A child that’s not even yours! I don’ t know if that makes it better or worse…"

"Meen-meen, listen to Ma. You’re only 29. You can still date around…"

"Look Meen-meen, I could never have had my kids without Murthy. There is so much more to having a child than…"

"Meena, you will face a lot of problems if you do this. But if this is what you want…"

Ohhh! Meena awakened with a start. She was sweating; from the South Indian heat or from anticipation, she was not sure. But luckily it was morning, and it would not be such a crazy idea for her to get up. She couldn’t stop shaking. Her body raged with the same tingle she felt the day the phone call came.

The phone call that told her a baby was waiting for her, the approved applicant, to adopt him.

The clock was moving too slowly, but too quickly. The orphanage was so far away, but not far enough. The auto driver is driving too fast, but…, no he definitely is driving too fast. And recklessly too. The auto swerved, and then screeched to a halt. Meena got out. She felt dizzy, the sun was bright; she couldn’t focus her eyes.

"Miss Reddy?"

Meena turned around, "Sister Marie?"

"Yes Miss Reddy. I am Sister Marie. Come in."

Meena walked forward, her footing unsure. All through the meeting with the director of the orphanage, the tour of the grounds, and even while she was being informed about the child that would become hers over the next three weeks, she felt nervous and off beat.

"What now?" she asked herself impatiently, "This is what you wanted, isn’t it?"

And when they placed the child in her arms, for the first time in her 32 years, everything was clear and so right.