She became used to being called Savitri, and she moved about the corner stores with the Americans with quickly learned ease. She made do with brown sugar because jaggery was not to be found. She boiled store-processed butter to make ghee, and spent hours traveling across town to Chinese and Mexican grocery stores to find similar ingredients. America was not going to make it easy for her to have her villages things, and for this she was actually glad.

She was standing at the food processor grinding vada dough when the pains started. A neighbor heard her screams and rushed her to the hospital. When the little baby girl was brought into her room, Ram stood over Savitri’s shoulder, “ Doctor, will she be alright? Despite being premature?”

The Doctor looked at Ram quizzically. “Mr. Reddy, this baby is a full term baby.”

Ram and Savitri looked at their child in silence. Finally Savitri said in Tamil, “In my family, the women have always given birth early to healthy babies. Western Doctors wouldn’t understand how the Goddess protects us.” Ram happily accepted this answer and named his daughter Devi.

The peace Savitri had known in the months preceding Devi’s birth was shattered. Some days the child looked like Ram, others she looked like a silenced flute player. Savitri felt she had done a great injury to Ram. And Devi was a living, breathing reminder of injustice.

When she was carrying the next child, Ram mentioned one day, “ I suppose I should start staying home next week.”

“The decision is yours.”

“Yes, it would make me feel better, especially now that you are nearing the eighth month. I would hate for you to be here alone with Devi when the baby comes.”

Savitri nearly fainted remembering the lie she had told. This baby would have to be born soon if she was to keep Ram oblivious from what she suspected was the truth. So for the next few days she swatted Devi angrily away as she sat before her puja room praying for God to make this child come sooner. And when that did not work, she began employing the methods a local neighborhood woman told her would make the baby come sooner. Savitri took large gulps of bitter liquid, willing the baby to come out. And he did.

But this baby was sickly and underdeveloped. Savitri beat her chest when she realized she had nearly killed Ram’s son. He spent months in an incubator and when he finally came home, his mother was relieved, his sister laughed again, and his father said he brought joy to the house. “We’ll call him Anand,” Ram declared.

In Anand, Savitri could clearly see Ram. There was no confusion.

Savitri swore never to hurt Ram or his children again when Anand was released from the hospital. So with her next pregnancy, she kept her herself healthy and active. And their last daughter arrived ten months after the day of conception. “Meenakshi,” Ram said proudly. Devi and Anand crowded around their new sister and Savitri wondered if her husband would ever make the connection between Radhakumari and Savitri.

Through the years, Savitri tried to mould his children as perfectly as she could. But Anand grew up fighting with his father. Meena was the most rebellious of children. And Devi. The only child to turn out decently, and perhaps she was not even his.

Savitri’s mother had often cursed her, “you will pay for you sins one day.” She was certainly paying for her sins. And now her mother, her village was no longer there to see how she was paying for her sins. One day Devi approached her, “Amma, my husband is seeing another woman.”

Savitri was lost in her thoughts. How many more times would she have to pay for the sins that belonged to a girl named RadhaKumari? “ God punishes us only when we have sinned.” She said out loud, not realizing what she was doing to her daughter.

Savitri cleaned her house again. So many events out of order in her life. Meena unmarried, Shilpa and Anand sleeping in separate rooms, Devi’s husband off with some other woman. She had continued to hurt Ram’s family long after she had promised she would not. The pain came again, and this time she let it take her.