| First Love |
| First Love |
by: Devika
As any other girl in her teens, I had dreamt of marrying a man, with a
warm heart, who would not require money in the form of dowry from my
parents, to compensate for any "basic requirements" I could not
fulfill.
When my parents saw the photograph of "Sunny", they thought he looked
good. They came to know more about his family and both the families
liked each other. Then, they asked me to talk to him to see if we were
compatible. I was very happy to know that he did not want any dowry. He
had done his masters in US and was currently working in a software firm
with a decent salary. He spoke about his friends, how broad minded he
was and that he did not expect his wife to be a typical conventional
"filmi" wife.
He came down to India to see me in person and meet my family. The day
my parents met him, they were really pleased with his well behaved, soft
spoken nature. When I met him, we got along pretty well. He asked my
parents' permission to take me out for dinner and my parents gladly
agreed. We talked about everything from politics to films and had a good
time. Everything seemed fine and each of us gave a green signal to our
families.
We had a formal engagement and he wanted me to meet his grandmother who
could not come to the engagement because of her ill health. So, I went
with him to Bangalore. Sunny had invited his friends for a dinner party
at Taj. After dinner, we began driving back home in his car. He asked me
about my college and hostel life, my final year project and friends. He
also asked me if I had any boy friends. I felt a little uneasiness at
this question though it was nothing unexpected. I said, I had friends
who were boys but I did not have any love interests. I asked him what
was in his mind when he asked that question.
What he said in reply left me numb for a while. He said, he had an
affair with a married woman, kavita, at his work place. Her husband,
Bharat, was still in India because of visa problems. They began going
out together as casual friends. Their friendship grew into physical
intimacy. Even though they had leased separate apartments, they spent
almost every night together. After three months into their relationship,
her husband got visa.The day before his arrival, sunny removed all his
belongings from her apartment. The next day, they both went to the
airport to receive him, and since then, Bharat, Kavita and Sunny have
been "good friends". He said, Bharat does not know about their
"affections". He said, he thought the whole thing was a mistake and it
will never happen again.
I was devastated. I could not believe, this was happening to me. I
always wanted my husband to be the only man in my life and I expected
the same from him. The thing that shocked me the most was, why did he
not tell me the whole thing before we got engaged? If he really thought
it was a mistake, he should have let me decide if I wanted to spend my
life with a person who makes such "mistakes". I did not know what to do.
I do not remember anything else about that night. I took the next
available train to my home.
I thought hard about what I should do about the truth I know about
Sunny. I don't know, what made me decide against telling my parents
about this. I went back to hostel a couple of days later. I thought, I
should forgive him and trust him. I have seen husbands being unfaithful
to their wives after marriage. Something in me believed that nothing
like that would ever happen again.
My faith has proved me right. We got married after 9 months. We have
been married for two years now. All along, Sunny behaved well with me
and never gave me any reason to suspect his love and commitment towards
our future.
But somewhere inside, there is a part in me that is still fighting to
get out of the shock I experienced that night. I have still not forgiven
my husband for not telling me the truth before we got engaged. There is
a part in me still screaming about the betrayal of the trust that is
supposed to be the foundation of a strong marriage. In the past two
years, there has not been a single day when I don' t think about his
affair, not wonder if he still has any feelings left for her, if he is
going through the same misery I am going through, if he still fantasizes
Bharat never existed . I don't know answers to any of my questions, and
I will never know. All that I know, is Sunny was my first love and I
could not let go of him just after knowing him for 2 weeks. Kavita was
his first love and also the first woman who gave him physical comfort .
Is it possible for him to forget his first love?
 |
Short-Stories |