The Perfect Love Letter
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Want to know the secret of romance? Yes, its old fashined love letters even in this electronic age of SMS and Emails! Whether its a long distance marriage or a fuel for romantic evenings, love letters is where its at! No mush, no gush, no scented stationary to alert every member of his family! The secret is...
One of the secrets of writing the perfect love letter is not to tell everything in the first paragraph. That would be a bit like doing everything on the first date! The man I´m in love with, the man I did not do everything with on the first date, the man from whom I learnt the art of letter-writing, has his own theory about how he won me. It was his expensive and trendy sports car, he reasoned! Sure, I love fast cars especially a sporty model and he has one. That, he is convinced, was the single most important factor that led an otherwise rational young woman to fall head over heels in love with him and to forsake all others. And he´s wrong. It was those love letters that did it. I´d never read anything quite like them…

I had received letters from the darlings of my heart that informed me of the day´s events as if I was a teacher who had assigned a reluctant class to maintain a daily journal! "Tried out for football today. Sure hope I make the team. the old bod´s in pretty sexy shape. My dad´s talking about buying a new car. Well, time to hit the paperwork." I would race to the end to see if he signed it ´love´. If so, I would add it to the others tied in a pink ribbon and kept in the top drawer of my bedside table. If after a date he emailed "It was great to see you" I would consider it a love letter. I´d since decided that guys have a rough time displaying their emotions; and to make a record of them is far too dangerous! They know we keep their words bound in a little pink ribbon or filed away in an email inbox folder titled ´love letters´. Perhaps we can help them a bit by expressing our feelings, by letting them know their most private thoughts are respected? That we won´t go running to the phone to call our top ten closest friends to read the letter aloud. The author of a love letter is pouring out his passion to one person, not an audience! Love is a tender and very private thing. If exposed to the light when a mere seedling, it will no doubt wither and die.

But enough of the etiquette required when the letter of your dreams is received. What constitutes such a letter? For me what was unusual and especially gratifying about the letters I received from the man I would later fall in love with was that he wasn’t shy or self-conscious when he wrote to me. He was unafraid of expressing his emotions. In print he sang my praises like a bird in early spring. He was generous in his memories of our time together and longed for me when we were apart. He wrote on specific things he loved and missed about me. He never bored me with cricket news et al. There was nothing pedestrian about his mail. There´s nothing common about any good love letter. It lifts you out of the run-of-the-mill daily life and carries you away on the wings of its song. He would quote poetry and sometimes even compose his own. He would speak of music that reminded him of me. He would dream of our future. In other words he made me feel loved. And he made me fall in love.

However, I must add here that the poetry flowed naturally from him and our situation. We admired the same poets and enjoyed sharing new discoveries. It did not appear out of character, therefore, when poetry would appear in a letter, I did not suspect him of turning to Barrette’s ´Familiar Quotations´ to beef up his letter! Staying in character is very important. It´s tempting to play the role of your favorite heroine in a love story, to adapt her dialogue as your own and pretend that you are very much a part of the Mills&Boon you devour eagerly! Who wouldn’t prefer to sound like Scarlett O’ Hara rather than one´s awkward, conscious self? But keep in mind that it´s that shy self who will be, or already is loved by the person to whom you write. A person as hesitant in love as you!

I didn’t know that at seventeen, and still experience grave discomfort when I recall the first love letter I wrote to the object of my affection. I have determined that should we ever be introduced at a party (and don´t think I haven’t imagined this a hundred times), I will pretend I´ve never met him, let alone spend sleepless nights imagining what it would be like to be held in his strong arms. The cause of my embarrassment is this: Because I didn’t feel that my vocabulary was any match for my passions, I copied the lyrics of an old song and included them in my letter.

"You are the angel´s glow that lights a star. The dearest things I know, are what you are. Someday my happy arms will hold you, And someday, we´ll know that moment divine, When all the things you are are mine."

My beloved was handsome, hazel-eyed and great at cricket - but he was NOT the angel´s glow that lights a star! My failure to use my own words has resulted in a recurring nightmare: What if he had kept the letter? What if he and his girlfriend sit back and laugh at it? Maybe he shares it with his friends - "Can you believe this? Some girl wrote this to me when I was nineteen?" They hold unto their sides and collapse with laughter!

So how would I write a love letter today? It would go something like this... "My darling" (this greeting should not be used until it is absolutely established that you are both in love) "You have been on my mind all day. I have been missing you since the moment you left. Nothing that I do seems quite complete without you. (This shows him how important he is to you.) I used to be able to walk on the beach, listen to music, watch a sunset, without this terrible feeling of longing I have now. I think it´s because sharing these things with you has been so joyful that without you they seem joyless." (You might say I´m beginning to go mushy here, but the truth never feels mushy. Too mushy is when you say things like ´Your breath is like roses in the morning dew.´ It´s perfectly all right to be earthy though. It´s even appealing to say "I love the way your arms feel when you hug me." Honesty is much more important than metaphor.)"Please come back soon. And know how much I love you." (Of all the words you write, these last three are the most important. In fact if I received just those words on a mail I would consider that a love letter.)

The secrets of writing a perfect love letter are the secrets to be found in your heart. If there isn´t someone special right now, someday there´s going to be a guy who will be standing by his PC or the mailbox, waiting impatiently for your mail. Practice writing right now so you won´t keep him waiting.



When you´re in a long distance relationship, all you can rely on is letters, cards, emails and telephone calls that fast deplete your bank account. But my boyfriend came up with a creative way to send me a letter. I got a package from him one day and I found an empty Mineral water bottle with a letter inside! It was really romantic and melted my heart, making the distance bearable!


  1. l Buy a magnetic note and stick them on the refrigerator.

  2. Use a soap bar or a red lipstick and write a romantic message on the bathroom mirror.

This is something I did for my boyfriend, and he loved it! I thought of my ten favorite things about him, then wrote a letter about each one and how much it meant to me. I had all the letters professionally bound together into a little book, and give it to him.

A LETTER A DAY keeps the romance at bay...

If your loved one is going away for vacation or a short trip, take a pink colored notepad and for each day that he´s gone write a separate love letter, so that he can read one everyday and be close to you.

One way to easily make an ordinary letter more special for somebody is to DECORATE THE ENVELOPE that you´re sending. When one of my loves sent me a teddy bear, she lined the inside of the box with gift-wrapping paper, and I still cherish that box to this day. If you´ve got a letter you want to decorate, then get some stickers (available at Archies). Too many of us forget about stickers after about grade school, but you can attach a cute or lovable sticker to anything at all, and whatever it touches will become special. Perfumed pages are incredibly sensual too.

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