Love, Lies & Relationships by: Jasmeen Dugal

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A recent survey carried out by Durex – a leading condom brand – reveals that globally, people appear to be indulging in sex at a significantly younger age than previous generations (18% admit they lost their virginity at 15). Besides, in India alone, 15% of adolescents in the same age group have already had their first sexual encounter, which combined with the lack of awareness at this stage, has increased the probability of HIV infections. Government reports prove that nearly 3.86 million people in India are carrying the HIV virus, of which more than 40% are teenagers, and International health agencies have warned the figure may treble in the next decade unless urgent steps are taken to promote safe sex. Sita Bhandari, training officer for reproductive health and sex education, describes the importance of sex education and counseling: "Last year I was Nepal´s co-ordinator for the BBC Radio Sexwise series and received a lot of letters from teenagers with questions about masturbation, menstruation, contraception and HIV. It is important for them to have accurate information. We should have counselors who will go out into schools and universities to help people develop a better understanding of their own sexual health. Youngsters today are increasingly exploring their sexuality at an early age and a lot of them have no idea about sexually transmitted diseases, or if they know about it, the facts are often incorrect." The Durex Global Survey 2001 proved that although the average age of receiving sex education in school is sixteen, almost four in ten Indians (38%) said they did not learn about sex in the classroom. Professionals such as doctors and family planning specialists are the preferred source of information on sexual health, although almost as many as 28% rely on what their friends tell them. Asserts Shabana Azmi, veteran actress, parliamentarian and social activist: "In today´s age of AIDS and abortions, we need to be well versed with safe sex. Although we´ve managed to get the Prime Minister to advocate sex education, the fact is that it was not so far in the past that a radio program on sexual health was banned because it was considered ´immoral.´ We need to have a huge mindset change and talk about issues we normally sweep under the carpet. And in the wake of changing sexual trends, it is of paramount importance that we give sex education to adolescents, so that they can make choices based on accurate information."

There is, however, one question that comes to mind: who is responsible for protection? Many of the negative consequences of casual sexual activity are not because of ignorance, but more because of complacency. Almost seven in ten Indians (69%) are concerned about contracting HIV but many are not protecting themselves. The Durex Global Sex Survey 2001, carried out in twenty-eight countries worldwide, found more than a quarter of Indians (27%) are taking no measures to prevent the spread of HIV. "Although many people are taking measures to protect themselves it is worrying that there is still a large number who are choosing to take risks," said T.T. Raghunathan, Executive Vice Chairman, TTK Group (manufactures of Durex condoms in India). With the threat of AIDS around the corner and the added risk of unwanted pregnancy, the smart solution is not to be caught off-guard. However, practicing safe sex can be difficult for women as they often experience lack of power in a relationship. Many women are so wrapped up in their relationship that they continually put themselves at the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, rather than endanger the relationship. Male resistance to condoms (needs vs. wants syndrome) and the low prerogative women assign to their own health increase the chance of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Asserts Preeti Banerjee, psychologist: "Inspite of all their emancipation, Indian women are still skeptical of their own worth and give in to male dominance. However, if you are sexually active it is always advisable to take control of your sex life and make intelligent choices. Take responsibility for your own protection. Agreed, in the average male psyche, a woman carrying condoms (male condom-in-the-wallet syndrome) might be looked upon as ‘fast’ but this is because ethics where HIV is concerned is not discussed openly. Only when such issues become widespread can a woman become more aware of her vulnerability, allow herself to take charge and decide if she’d rather be careful or risk her entire life. The pill terminates pregnancy but what’s more alarming is the onslaught of HIV."