Family

by: Deepali Kaur Oberoi   

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Suneeta again checked herself in the mirror; she smoothed her long, straight hair, and quickly descended the stairs into the kitchen. No anger...no sentiment...just eat, eat..She lowered her eyes and bowed her head. Play the game, don't upset anyone, it's 1998, Alex...arranged marriage...Alex..play the game...family, ha! Family....

Her father's voice filled the kitchen. "Suneeta! What is the meaning of this? This disrespect! You first defy us by telling us that you want to pursue business! We came to this country not because of business, but due to professionalism- a strong background in medicine! I came to the U.S. with only $9.60 in my pocket. Suneeta! Look at me! Where do you think you will get money? Nobody will marry you unless you are a professional. Can you cook? I have never seen you cook. Can you take care of children? You do not have any siblings that I know of. I have never seen you nurture a child, or even play with one!"

Her mother interjected in a soothing voice... "Beta, think of how beautiful your children will be...think of your parents, and how we only want the best for you,"

"Aama, I am not yet finished speaking!" her father bellowed. The petite woman hurriedly served hot chapatis, and buttered Suneeta's herself...little girl, 22, woman, Indian, American, respect your elders but only if they're male...He's never finished speaking...Her father's tone became more tender. But Suneeta knew this type of wheedling. When all else fails, be nice to prove your point and sway the opposition....Alex, oh Alex...Her eyes became wet again and she looked at the ceiling so her mascara wouldn't run.

"Beta, I know that you are an American girl. This is what I expected even when we lived in India. But you also have a responsibility to your family. Why do I see tears? Tears are for the weak! They will get you nowhere!" His voice almost lost its charm but he soon caught himself. "Look at your mother. Is she not happy? See how happy we are. You also can be this way. Nobody wants a wife who cannot tend to the home, who is completely westernized, if she does not even have a proper education! What is the meaning of this ‘business'? Now, as I attempted to tell you earlier-- there is someone, a very well educated man whom your uncle knows, with a proper degree in medicine. He has been raised just like you; why not meet him? Why not give yourself a chance? Happiness will come later, Suneeta, but you must always think of stability, security." She smiled faintly. My God, they were on two different planes. Her mother, happy? Serving others? Putting herself last in a "family" of only three people? Disregarding her own profession to raise only one daughter, only to send her off to someone else's home after she graduated from college? She knew the type. An arrogant man in his mid-twenties, raised here but with the same values as her father, nonetheless...Suneeta would be passed from one closed minded individual to another. And Alex- her father had no idea! He would send her to India if he knew! But what about the money? Alex's father was a blue collar worker, while her father didn't even know the names of his own employees! Suneeta had contemplated this situation for several years, and adulthood was now fast approaching. She had met Alex in her sophomore year in college, when he had just completed his final year at the same university. Her father would have disowned her for even befriending a member of the opposite sex at the time. Suneeta knew that he would only blame her boyfriend for her decision to pursue business. Alex's family had little money; he worked his way through school, paid his own insurance, bought his own car, and rented his own apartment. He had done all of these things since high school— his father worked the late shift in a factory and still earned a less than average income, and his mother bagged groceries on the lower West Side. Yet throughout the years, Alex had proven to be her best friend. He knew as much about her culture as she did— he was well-read, confident, and mature. She knew that someday she would have to confess to her father; first, that she wanted to marry a person of lower socio-economic status; second, that he was Caucasian. Suneeta knew that other girls had gone through this. She figured that she would get over her infatuation with her companion and soon be able to let him go. Things didn't turn out that way, however, and she fell more deeply in love with him than she had imagined possible. She knew that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Alex, but her father would never understand that. According to him, to love was merely to fulfill one's duty.

"Beta, why are you so silent? What is on your mind? Are you listening to what your father has said? He knows best; we only want what is best for our daughter." Her chest felt tight and she began to tell them; she longed to tell them. Suneeta looked from her father's tired, hopeful face to her mother's pleading eyes, her hands resembling those clasped in prayer. Her thoughts flashed back to what seemed like ages ago when her mother's prayers and singing seemed more powerful and comforting than anything, and she realized that her mother was praying; but for something else entirely.

Her voice came out in a whisper, "Papa, you're right. Stability is best. You and Aama are as happy as I can ever hope to be. I will meet this boy and give him a chance. I am finished with my dinner." Her parents embraced her and allowed her to leave the table. As she turned away, Suneeta caught their reflection in the mirror; they seemed younger, almost carefree, and she realized that they cared only about her future, her security. She paused to dab the mascara from her cheeks, and she felt as though she would never breathe again, never live again. She ascended the stairs to telephone Alex.