Full Circle

by: Rajashri Banerjee-Jena   

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It was almost 11 years back but seemed like yesterday when she stood in front of her family in their flat in Calcutta and announced her intention to leave for the U.S. Her family had been stunned. They knew of course that she had given the SAT and had applied to a few schools abroad. But they had never guessed how determined and serious she was about this. "Come on", said her sister, "you must be crazy to give up this life of security and comfort and struggle on your own in a foreign country". But at 18, Geeta knew what she wanted. A life of protection and dependence was not for her. She had to venture out of her own, survive and succeed. The following days were tough, trying to convince her parents about her decision. Finally emotional balckmail worked. "If you don't let me go now, I will blame you forever for ruining my career and any chance I had for success!" That seemed to do the trick. Somehow her parents submitted to the steely determination and knew that it was time to let go and let her face the consequences of her own decision. Her father had joked and said "Maybe we need to purchase a round trip ticket to the U.S". But Geeta made up her mind, however much the hardship, she would not come back empty-handed.

Well maybe she had underestimated the hardship ahead of her. Looking back, she might have lost her nerve if she knew what lay ahead as an undergraduate student in the U.S without adequate finances or emotional support. She remembered the long hours of work at grocery stores, restaurants or any place that would employ her that was walking distance from the college. One winter night while walking back alone from the grocery store she slipped over the ice many times. She sat defeated on the ice and thought longingly about the proposal that her uncle had just called about. A green-card holder well settled groom in the North East! Just then, the glaring lights of a car interrupted her reverie. A friend from college had come to her aid and helped her on to her feet. She chided herself for the temporary weakness and gathered her strength for future battles.

Fitting in hadn't been easy either. Undergraduate life was the time when teenagers were enjoying the flush of unlimited freedom and her old-fashioned moral values had been laughed at. Many evenings she had spent in desperate loneliness while parties raged all around the dormitories. She tried to shut out the music and laughter with her hands but it came back louder to taunt her. Had her mother been wrong then to teach her old-fashioned morality? It would have been very easy to give in, but she struggled on to retain her values while trying to reach her dreams. Her interest in the arts gave her an outlet to be socially occupied and block out the rest of the taunting world around her. Also local Indian families provided some emotional support that she badly needed.

It was a wonderful sunny day and she could see the light at the end of her tunnel. It was her graduation day and the Department Head was all smiles as he handed her the degree. He said "Geeta has set a precedent by completing a four-year undergraduate degree in 3 years". Her friends gave a special party for her and she even drank a little fruit punch spiced up with vodka. The thrill of success had kept her up all night and she sorely missed sharing this special moment with her family. Well since that glorious graduation day, life hadn't been exactly a breeze. But the first step towards achievement was the hardest. Now she was a seasoned campaigner, a fighter against all odds.

The next few years went by in Graduate School. It was time to relax and enjoy life. All the critical observations of relatives back in Calcutta had faded into silence since she had returned home with her shiny U.S degree. Even the lady at the passport office in Calcutta seemed to be visibly impressed with the stature of the U.S degree for someone so young. So finally some of the pressure was off her back and she could add more dimensions to her life. Graduate school was much easier socially as there were lots of Indian students with similar value sets. So those years passed by in a blur of social gatherings, new acquaintances and friendships. Most of the friendships during this phase were transient as after graduation, job aspirations split up the graduating class into different cities in the U.S.

Luckily Geeta found a job right in Chicago. The company agreed to sponsor her for the Green Card, which is a major milestone for most Indian students in the U.S. In her gratitude, she worked long hours for the company thus rising up the corporate ladder at a fast pace much to the dismay of the colleagues. The company sent her to Europe, Australia, and even India on marketing trips. It was the most exciting and glamorous time of her life. Her wardrobe looked very different now with designer suits from large department stores rather than her shabby clothes from the student days. However with all the freedom and excitement, a strange loneliness kept gnawing into her. She felt a lump in her throat while sightseeing alone in Europe. Sure, the company was paying for it but wouldn't it be nice to share this with someone? Coming back to U.S from overseas trips was no cakewalk either. The apartment where she stayed would look un-inviting and lonely after a long trip. She had good friends but they could not fill the void in her life.

Suddenly one day, her life took a different turn. One of her close friends introduced her to Sanjay who had recently moved to Chicago with a new job. He was her complete opposite and his sincerity and honesty struck an instant chord in her. He offered her the security and companionship that she was seeking and soon they were in love. They got married in 6 months after their first meeting.

"Geeta, I want you to come upstairs now", her husband's voice sounded worried. Geeta woke up from her reverie and got ready to go upstairs. As she slowly climbed the stairs, a smile crept across her face. What an outward transformation of a girl who was and still is very rebellious and independent! Sanjay's love had engulfed her like a protective blanket. But instead of feeling smothered, she felt happy. After all those years of fighting her own battles finally there was a shoulder to lean on. Her submission was now her strength and her life definitely had reached a different plane of fulfillment by coming FULL CIRCLE.