A Rose for His Grave

by: Pareen Kaur   

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The morning violently brought amongst the world liquid chasms that fell from the ether above. Far beyond the eye could see, mud and water covered the streets of NewDehli. Sanaam augured that the rain would last for a while, so she did not make plans to go to the market. First thing in the morning, she awoke to the name of the Almighty. Then, she would spend most of the day in the kitchen, or attending any chores her husband might of had for her. Occasionally, in the morning, she would ask for a blessing from her mother-in-law by kneeling down in front of her, and paying her great respect. Sanaam knew her mother-in-law had supreme authority in the household, she did not dare insult her, for she knew the might of her husband's hand.

She had briefly spoken a few words in her whole life, and those were to her mother when she had left her house after marriage. Sanaam's parents had thought that Hardam was a decent boy, his name was well known throughout the community, he was seriously educated, and most of all, he was financially secure. After knowing all that, Sanaam's aunt had introduced the couple, and a week later, the families arranged the marriage. Three months passed, and Sanaam never heard from her family again.

Quickly she covered her head, and made an attempt to run through the drench. Her intuition had fallen in love with the rain, and like an innocent child, she let her bare feet labyrinth the Earth. It was only after a little while she became aware of how swollen her feet had became, so red were they, and aching, that she felt a stabbing pain in her every step. Sanaam abruptly abandoned the pale that she was carrying to fetch water, and in tears ran home. Her mother-in-law stood in front of the door. "Did you not get the pale of water like I had asked you?" Sanaam looked into her eyes, and fell to the Earth beneath her. In tears, she sobbed. "My f-feet." Her mother-in-law walked towards her with severe grace, she quickly put her hand over Sanaam's bare foot, and shattered the bracelet that had encompassed it ever since Sanaam was a child. She quickly put her hand around Sanaam's belly, and tightened her grip. She lifted her ghostly eyes, and put her hand on Sanaam's face. "My child..did you not know there is another life breathing inside of you?" Sanaam looked down upon her abdomen in reverence, she could hear the walls echo the panting. She thought about Hardam, and managed to smile. Soon, the whole household became aware. Hardam looked upon her, and he smiled. Never had the couple been so happy.

As the days became nights, Sanaam became more aware of her responsibilities, of her character. She awoke to the purity of the morning, and it's unspoiled light. She was still expected to work in the kitchen, wash clothes in the basins of the rivers, but at least now, her mother-in-law would allow her to rest in the middle of the day, and her brother-in-laws could no longer pester her about ironing their shirts, sweeping the floors, or organizing their rooms, that is, unless Hardam told them to.

The day had finally come when Sanaam's mother-in-law had asked her to go visit the doctor. Sanaam grew a little suspicious to this. "My child, it will be of your benefit to know whether it is a boy or girl that grows inside of you." The words had haunted Sanaam, yet, she still agreed to go, on the account that it was Hardam who was to take her.

A few weeks later the news had come out, Sanaam was expecting a girl. The neighbors would come by with condolences, and arouse pity for the expectant mother. But, still she was not prepared for what Hardam had said to her. "Abort the child." The words cried through Sanaam's mind for endless days and nights. They burned her soul. Such venomous words they were. She could not argue with him. He would no longer speak to her. Everytime Sanaam tried to reason with him, his intemperance would grow, and her timidity would draw her away.

Sanaam lay in her bed at nights, thinking, never had the silence been so frightening. Never before had she realized how lonely she was, helpless. She had left her room to get some air, when she encountered Hardam in the hall. He met her with keen eyesight. In front of him, she ceased to move, and stood in her path. He approached her, calmly, for the first time. She looked at him, "So..." she murmured, "I won't do it." He began laughing. "You, of all the people to tell me what they will, or will not do, you, my own wife?!" His laughter had surrounded the room. Sanaam drowned in her silence. She stared vaguely at him. "And look at you, Hardam!" She lifted her head, you call yourself a man, one who is afraid to have a woman be born in to your home, you want me to destroy something that's a part of you?" He grabbed Sanaam by the shoulders, and realized what she had just said. Never had he felt so humiliated in front of his wife. Hardam slowly let her go, and turned away from her. "I-I have a confession to make," he began, Sanaam grabbed his arm, " everyone feels that it would be best to abort the child, and I promised them the only reason this wouldn't not happen is if I were not here". "Hardam," she began, "you have deceived your wife, you have fallen in the eyes of your conscience." And with that, she left the room sobbing. Hardam had never realized before how beloved his wife had been, how he had never taken time to realize that. He stood, staring at the emptiness of the room, even the moon's reflection seemed polluted. "Goodbye my beloved, good-bye Sanaam." He whispered.

Never again did he return, his soul had departed to the abyss in the sky. No matter rain or shine, everyday, Sanaam left a rose next to his grave. One day she would bring their child here, so that she too could see the real one who gave her life.