Touched By An Angel

by: Nivedha Venkatachalam   

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That memorable day … when I first laid eyes on her freshly lingers in mind till now . My college was buzzing with its first day hustle and excitement . I was running along the corridor , teasing my friends when I ‘fortunately’ collided with her . When I looked up to capture that face … our eyes met . That moment ... when our eyes meet ! There is no words in any language to express those feelings . That instance… I understood the significance of “The most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or touched but can only be felt in the heart” . The magical sparkle in her eyes ... fills mine whenever I close it , even now ... It was like a diamond placed in a dark marble surrounded by clear white crystal .

I was mesmerized by her simple beauty . My heart and mind was racing and she sensed my dumbfounded silliness . Then I found a glimpse of heaven on earth when she smiled at me . Before I could even breath again , she vanished ! During lunch break , I found her sitting alone. “Just the right moment”, whispered my heart . I stumbled towards her memorizing the right words to began my conversation . I was trying my best to act cool although my heart was performing a 180º summersaults . I couldn't figure out why I was so anxious with her when I was usually good with girls . I was known as Mr.Romeo among my friends for my capability to charm any girl as a leisure pursuit and then make them yearn for my attention but with her … the logic was unexplainable.

" Ahem… , hi there … , I’m sorry … sorry for what happened earlier '' , I stammered , smiling sheepishly . She smiled back . Ohh … girl , you are one of a kind ! Her admirable simple, sweet beauty and that magical eyes made me surrender myself to her . At that moment in time , I could hear Richard Marx singing only to my ears … “Wise men says only fools rush in but I can’t help falling in love with you” . I sensed something special about her and I realized that I need time to explore that inner beauty ." It's all right . I am OK . " she answered sweetly . " I’m Vishnu . 3rd year Computer Engineering . You are a new student here ? " while extending my trembling hands to her. " Yeah . I'm in the new intake for B.Sc Computer Science . My name is Nitha ." I guess everything about her is a simple beauty, even her name . I felt like saying her name every time my heart beats . Nithaaaa ... She shook my sweaty hands firmly and closed our first verbal communication … “OK , Vishnu . Gotta go now . Nice meeting you . See you some other time .” and I just stood there nodding and smiling sheepishly … again .

It was the beginning of our fine friendship which grew stronger and deeper with each passing day . I admired and envied her unique personality . But her frankness and trust in me lead into a dilemma . I started to feel guilty for not telling her who I was before meeting her . I wanted to be honest with her just like the way she was with me but then I was scared that the price which I have to pay in the future by being honest is losing her . I couldn't even imagine what I would do if Nitha leaves me after getting to know my other side . The dark side ! The Vishnu which I have been for all these years . I was not sure whether I could explain the exact thing which made me what I was and then changed me completely after seeing her . Thus the fear of losing her made me shut my mouth and bury the secrets deep inside my heart .

That evening after her class was over , Nitha was walking weakly towards me . As soon as I saw her dull gloomy face I knew instantly that something is bothering her . “I want to talk with you Vishnu . Alone …” Although thousands of questions was racing in my mind , we headed together to our favorite spot … the beach ! Only the sound of waves crashing the rocks fills the lonely seashore even though it has been a while since we arrived . “Vishnu … if I ask you a something , would you answer me honestly ?” Huh … that question made my heart skip a beat but I am in a situation where I just can't escape . “Go on , Nitha . What is it ?” . I knew she realized the change in my voice tone. “Vishnu , we have been good friends . I have been frank with you and shared almost each and every personal details about me coz I wanted you to understand and accept me for what I am . I know that you won't judge me or deny me for whatever I have been but rather be at my side to give all the encouragements and advices to change myself to be a better person .” She paused for a moment . “Good Friendship is understanding and sharing . Above all it is trusting and believing each other .Vishnu , I found out certain things about you . I know it is true and the facts really hurts , Vishnu . The fact which is you hide all those things from me . That shows that you didn't trust me ! Did you think I will leave you after knowing about all these or that I won't trust what you say ? Is this is what you have concluded about me after all these while ?” I stood motionless facing the angry waves without having the courage to look into her frustrated eyes . “Don't you trust me , Vishnu ?” she touched my arms softly .“What made you think that I would turn my back for you when you need me most, Vishnu ? What makes you think that there is no one for you in this world ?” She sighed then “I’m disappointed that you didn't open up with me and I have to listen all about it from a third person ! Do you know how heartbreaking it is ? Vishnu is a flirt … Vishnu is a gangster … Vishnu is a spoilt brat … Vishnu is this … Vishnu is that ! I just couldn't protest them and yell out ‘No , my Vishnu is not like that !’ because I didn't know the truth which I suppose to get from you .” She couldn't continue. Her eyes watered and two little tear drops came rolling down her chubby cheeks . ''Vishnu , what makes you think that there is nobody for you ? Do you still think like that even after finding me ? I know that you are a smart guy and I heard that you are a good tennis player but then something had bothered you so much that it had changed you and everything was not what it used to be . I am sure there is a valid explanation for all this mess ! Vishnu , I am here for you and will always be . For god sake, please let me help you ! Please ...” She held my hand delicately .

I couldn't control myself and started to cry . The pain and sorrows which I’ve locked inside my heart … I let it all out , this time . For the first time ! Then , I started to speak from my heart about everything which have been bothering me . “Nitha ... there is no meaning for my life ! My mom died when I was 6 and my dad is a money-making machine … I know that he loves his BMW’S and Ferraris more than me ! My grandma was my parent, friend , teacher , philosopher … she was everything in my life , my guardian angel ! Then … she left me too , all alone ! She was my inspiration and I couldn't continue my dreams without her . I didn’t have that guts to die nor to continue my meaningless life . I felt betrayed, angry, sad, lonely … I couldn’t find the pure love that I yearned from anyone ! I was frustrated and I don't know why I end up this way . It just happened ! But now Nitha , I’ve changed . You’ve changed me . I promise that I had left back everything.” She interrupts before I could continue “I know that Vishnu . But the question is why didn't you tell this to me earlier ? It shows that you didn't trust me ! ” “No, Nitha . I was afraid that it might ruin our friendship . I admit that I was a flirt , a spoiled brat and I know that I am a good for nothin stupid jerk ...” She punched my arms lovingly and said “Ohh ... shut up ! You are not a jerk . But listen Vishnu I want you to know that life is not a bed of roses all the time . Life is rather like the weather. Sometimes the sun shines and the next minute the gloom appears . But remember , there cannot be rainbow without a rain . Nothing will last long in life , Vishnu . You shouldn't let anyone or anything defeat you in the journey of life . You should have the courage to overcome those little thorns which comes on your way along the path of life and shouldn't let your emotions overrule you . The most important thing is , if you want something good to happen , you have to be patient and believe that it will really happen .Vishnu , believe and trust is the essence of life. You should take life as it comes to you . You have all the powers to be what you wanna be . Why you wanna waste it ? You trust me and my words right? '' She looked deep into my eyes searching for an answer . I wiped my tears and “I trust you , Nitha and I have the believe that I can be whatever I wanna be .” I continued confidently. “Good Vishnu , then go on . It is all in your hands !” That day , I was born again . I felt the essence of belonging , confidence, faith and inspiration to pursue and embrace life as it comes . I was motivated thus my exam result improved significantly and the victory in tennis tournaments was certain for me . Others thought it was a miracle but only I know that it was because of my sweet angel's arrival .

It was sharp 12.00 a.m. April 14th .I received a phone call which I was expecting and I knew exactly who was the caller . My adorable little angel's sweet voice of course . She sang the birthday song for me and continued sweetly “Vishnu dear … many more happy returns of the day . Hope all your dreams come true !” and then we kept on talking for at least an hour or two .The next morning , when I opened my eyes “Hey Angel Girl , what are you doing up here so early ?” She smiled and “Good morning birthday boy . Just want you to see my cute face first so that everything will go well for you this day and everyday !” Nitha always know what I want and need all the time . It was as if she could read my mind telepathically . “Come on, get up lazy bones . I have a whole lot of plans for this special day . Your big day is mine too , right ?” And that day was ideal . We went to the temple .Then, she cooked me lunch and we ate together watching comedy movies . That evening , she took me to a restaurant and only then I knew that she had arranged a surprise party for me. All of our other friends joined in and I enjoyed the fun and dance . After the party was over , we were sitting alone with the ice-creams in our hands near the seashore , admiring the full moon while the cold breeze was teaching her black wavy hair to dance ! “How could God create a creature who is so fragile , innocent , pure but strong , witty, loving all at once ! No doubt , you are the best Nitha and I love you with all my heart .” She must have heard the whispers of my heart to her soul . She looked at me and “Hey silly , what are you dazing ? Finish your ice-cream or it’s going to melt . If you don't want it just give it to me ?” She tried snatching it but I avoided and then we settled down , giggling like kids . “Nitha ..., you are the best thing that have ever happen to me and a valuable gem which I have earned in my entire life.” I sighed for a second then continued while looking deep into her eyes hoping that she will realize the endless love that I have for her . “I just couldn't tell it in words but just hear to the sound of this waves and it will explain . I am very lucky to be loved by you . I am truly blessed to be touched by you. You are my angel , Nitha ! You will always be !” She bestowed her typical cute smile, “Ohhh … Sire Shakespeare, that is enough ! Stop flattering me . I ain't angel and all . I don’t have a golden halo on top of my head and a magical wand to wave around and hey , do you see any wings ?” she searched for her imaginary wings and I chuckled . Then I enfold her hands firmly holding her close to me and started to hum Because You Love Me by Celine Dion because that song express exactly what I want her to know .

“Vishnu, I want you to promise me something.” I looked puzzled at her and waited for her to continue. “No matter what happen, you should be the same Vishnu that I see now . Your life is what you make out of it . Remember , there is no rainbow without a rain . So believe and trust that the rainbow will appear after each rain! ” .We then walked hand in hand along the shoreline , built sand castles and played 'catching' in that lonely beach . Words are so inadequate to express a perfect day like that . Only that day I knew the bliss of living in a paradise where time never seems to exist . Before leaving , she gave me a neatly wrapped parcel with a little card tucked on it. I smiled and asked '' What is this angel ? '' while beginning to unwrap the present paper eagerly but Nitha hit my hand and “Hey , No Vishnu . Open it in your house . Ok ? Happy Birthday ! Take care and good night.” She hugged and kissed passionately in my cheek … for the first time and left . I was speechless… the way I was when I first meet her ! I started to unwrap the present paper impatiently as soon as I entered my room . When I opened a box , there was a glittering angel doll , just like my Nitha . I slowly touched the angel's hand and a music started to play . Then I opened the card which she gave me “Dearest …, I am sprinkling my stardust unto you so that all your dreams and wishes may come true . Lovingly Yours , Angel Girl…” That was the last day I saw Nitha . She didn’t come to college for the next 2 days . I knew something was terribly wrong since she will always inform me about her whereabouts . It was 6 p.m. when I rushed to Nitha's house . Her house was locked and it looked almost empty . I was too confused to think straight when Nitha’s neighbor “Ohh Vishnu , I was waiting for you .Nitha moved out.” I almost screamed... “MOVED OUT ? What do you mean , moved out ? Are you sure auntie ? She didn't tell anything about moving out at all to me when I met her 3 days back . You must be mistaken . She won't move out so suddenly and not even without saying good-bye ? This is impossible ! There must be a mistake '' I just blurted without stopping . My eyes started to fill with tears . “No Vishnu , I am very sure. Nitha's father told me personally that he is moving out due to some serious problems which he cannot explain . He said it is urgent and he doesn't have any other choice . I insisted about the place which he is moving too but he refused to tell me but then ensures me that they will be fine .” I couldn't believe what was happening at that moment . It was a nightmare . “Even Nitha said it was important and she should follow her dad for time being but she was full of tears. And Vishnu, she asked me to pass this cover to you '' She handed a pink colored cover . I picked it up and went back home blindly . My tears didn’t seem to stop flowing . I reached for that cover with my blurry eyes and started to read the contents of her letter … "Dearest Vishnu , Sorry for leaving like this… without even a goodbye ! But please don’t mistake me , I didn’t have that much courage to face or hear your voice to do this . It is not my choice but I had to go and I’m not in a situation to explain the reasons . You are a very special person to me and will always be . I just want you to be the same Vishnu coz this is just a temporary parting . Make all your dreams , a reality . For everything you wanted in your life, work for it . Vishnu , believe … it will never let you down . One day I will come back to you!"

Lovingly Yours , Angel Girl…

P.S. You’ll find a ring, Vishnu . As a token of inspiration in your life and to just remind you that I am with you always .Be what you wannna be . It is all in your hands !

I regained to the present-day when I felt the rain droplets on my arms . I stared at the silver ring . She vanished just the way she came to me , all of a sudden … like an angel ! It has been 5 years now . I have become what I wanted to become . A senior software engineer in a top IT Corporation … A state level tennis player… An achiever ! I stood up realizing it is going to rain heavily . I gazed at the blue ocean for a minute and started arranging my footsteps towards my car . It started to drizzle slowly and I muttered to myself “I trust and believe u , Nitha . There will not be a rainbow without a rain and I hope one day , this rain will bring back the rainbow which I have been waiting for all these years to color my life again .”