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  Laugh out loud   

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10.If money could talk it would say,good bye
9.dear lord,if you can't make me skinny, make my friends fat
8.Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made
7.The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important
6.One thing you canīt recycle is wasted time.
5.If you think nobody cares if youīre alive, try missing a couple of credit card payments
4.It doesnīt matter whether you win or lose -- until you lose
3.Donīt walk behind me I may fart. Donīt walk in front of me, I might kick you. Carry me on your shoulders, Iīm lazy.
2.Iīm so far behind I think Iīm first

1.Be nice to your kids, they will chose your nursing home.

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