by Ramesh Mahadevan
Note: This is published with the permission of the author.
(Please note: This post is written in jest. So, if you have a fragile personality or if you are a habitual flame-thrower, skip this post. )
It has been several years since I wrote my post on An algorithmic approach to Tamil verses. Since I wrote that piece, I realize that I have become vastly unpopular. But what the heck, let me go on with my frontal attack on Mr. Vairamuthu's lyrics. It is time for me to upgrade my earlier post !
Now the great Pulavar Vairamuthu has evolved a newer and more high-tech algorithm. We have 50 Kg Taj Mahal and patently absurd concepts like Flight-il vandha nandhavanam! (Can somebody please explain what this means ?) Basically, the Pulavar wants to be in the swing of things - he wants to tell us that he knows what a fax is and that he is hip to latest cellular phones. Let it be known that he is on top of all high-tech developments and teenage goings on. Sticking to Pulavar's latest algorithm, I came up with the following song:
Internet-ilirundhu kudhitthu vandhavale
Winterstorm pola kulircchi thandhavale
Centerspread-kku sirippai thandhavale
Mentor Graphics Stock pola irangi vandhavale
Nee dhaanadi enadhu periya Y2K problem
Kaadhalaiye re-engineer seydha oru emblem
nee Web-TV-yin aavi-di
devi nee oru pudhu dhinusu
Deviyin viyarvai mazhai oru Niagara
Thevai illai enakku endrum Viagra
Taj Mahal iruppadho oru Agra
Thaamarai poo ival ennaangara
See ? It is that simple. It took me all of six minutes to make up this song. It is only a matter of time before words like Viagra and Y2K creep into Vairamuthu's songs. (Mark my word - today is July the 27 th, 1998. I guarantee this before the end of this year) .
Readers, now you too can compose such lyrics. Just choose any of the following buzzwords, phrases and newsy people and make up anything. Have fun !
Technical terms: Merced chip, Nuclear fusion, parallel computing, Web page, etc.
Cultural icons: Dim sum, Spice girls, Sensex (!), Gen X, hip-hop, etc.
Newsy things: Asia crisis, Dodi Fayed, Monica Lewinsky, Ronaldo, Leo deCaprio etc.
Vairamuthuism: Vervai, devi, janmam etc.
(Note: Folks, please remember that the whole thing is in jest - no serious offenses meant)
Copyright(R) Mahadevan Ramesh